Soiamd’s Blog-Your One Step Destination

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits

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Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends”.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran
to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran
to a theater.

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturday and Sunday.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.

At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders category”.

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy!

You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.

At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders category”.

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy!

You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

Mails

Don’t read junk and forwarded mails.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,

All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
Contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.’
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him:

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. ‘No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she
can give it to my sister when she goes there.’

His eyes were so sad while saying this. ‘My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.”
My heart nearly stopped.

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was
laughing.

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it.

Then he looked at me and added, ‘I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so
that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!”

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my
basket.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Just read it somewhere and wanted to share with you people that how little we know about ourselves.

Mystery # 10. Consciousness: When you wake up in the morning, you might perceive that the Sun is just rising, hear a few birds chirping, and maybe even feel a flash of happiness as the fresh morning air hits your face. In other words, you are conscious. This complex topic has plagued the scientific community since antiquity. Only recently have neuroscientists considered consciousness a realistic research topic. The greatest brainteaser in this field has been to explain how processes in the brain give rise to subjective experiences. So far, scientists have managed to develop a great list of questions. компютри втора употреба

1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
“You’re under arrest!” (For what?) “For stealing my heart.”

16. You can forget about going to heaven because it’s sin to look that good

CLEVELAND - Researchers from the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo have discovered a rare giant turtle in northern Vietnam — a find that carries great scientific and cultural significance. Swinhoe’s soft-shell turtle was previously thought to be extinct in the wild. Three other turtles of the species are in captivity, said experts from the Zoo’s Asian turtle program.

The discovery represents hope for the species, said Doug Hendrie, the Vietnam-based coordinator of the zoo program.

Turtle expert Peter Pritchard, president of the Chelonian Research Institute, confirmed the find based on a photo Hendrie showed him.

“It looked like pretty solid evidence. The animal has a pretty distinctive head,” Pritchard said.

There have been rumors for years of a mythical creature living deep in the waters of a northern Vietnam lake. Some in a village west of Hanoi claimed to be blessed by catching a glimpse of it’s concave shell as it crested above the surface of their lake.

A national legend tells of a giant golden turtle that bestowed upon the Vietnamese people a magic sword and victory over Chinese invaders in the 16th century. Whether that sacred turtle has materialized in the 21st century will be a matter of cultural debate among the Vietnamese.

“This is one of those mythical species that people always talked about but no one ever saw,” said Geoff Hall, zoo general curator.

Of the other three Swinhoe’s soft-shell turtles in captivity, two are in Chinese zoos and the other is cared for in the Hoan Kiem (”Returned Sword”) Lake in downtown Hanoi — the lake in which the legendary turtle appeared to reclaim the sword from the emperor.

Pritchard said an amateur photographed a Swinhoe’s soft-shell turtle in southern China about six months ago that he believes was legitimate.

“It’s on the very brink of extinction, so every one counts,” Pritchard said.

The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo began its effort to preserve and protect Asian turtles in 2003 amid reports of increased killings for food or to make traditional medicine from their bones. Development and pollution also led to loss of nesting habitats along rivers, zoo officials said.

The zoo has put more than $275,000 into Asian turtle conservation efforts since 2000 and has supported Hendrie since 2003, officials said.

His team and scientists from Education for Nature-Vietnam had searched lakes and wetlands along the Red River for three years before hearing about the creature living outside Hanoi.

The turtle remains in the lake and researchers have notified the Vietnamese government of its existence, Hendrie said.

10. Seven Mile Bridge
The Seven Mile Bridge, in the Florida Keys, runs over a channel between the Gulf of Mexico and the Florida Strait, connecting Key Vaca (the location of the city of Marathon, Florida) in the Middle Keys to Little Duck Key in the Lower Keys. Among the longest bridges in existence when it was built, it is one of the many bridges on US 1 in the Keys, where the road is called the Overseas Highway.

9. San Mateo-Hayward Bridge

The San Mateo-Hayward Bridge (commonly called San Mateo Bridge) is a bridge crossing California’s San Francisco Bay in the United States, linking the San Francisco Peninsula with the East Bay. More specifically, the bridge’s western end is in Foster City, the most recent urban addition to the eastern edge of San Mateo. The eastern end of the bridge is in Hayward. The bridge is owned by the state of California, and is maintained by Caltrans, the state highway agency.

8. Confederation Bridge

The Confederation Bridge (French: Pont de la Confédération) is a bridge spanning the Abegweit Passage of Northumberland Strait, linking Prince Edward Island with mainland New Brunswick, Canada. It was commonly referred to as the “Fixed Link” by residents of Prince Edward Island prior to its official naming. Construction took place from the fall of 1993 to the spring of 1997, costing $1.3 billion. The 12.9-kilometre (8 mi) long bridge opened on 31 May 1997.

7. Rio-Niteroi Bridge

The Rio-Niteroi Bridge is a reinforced concrete structure that connects the cities of Rio de Janeiro and Niteroi in Brazil.
Construction began symbolically on August 23, 1968, in the presence of Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, in their first and thus far only visit to Brazil. Actual work begun in January, 1969, and it opened on March 4, 1974.
Its official name is “President Costa e Silva Bridge”, in honor of the Brazilian president who ordered its construction. “Rio-Niteroi” started as a descriptive nickname that soon became better known than the official name. Today, hardly anyone refers to it by its official name.

6. Penang Bridge

The Penang Bridge (Jambatan Pulau Pinang in Malay) E 36 is a dual-carriageway toll bridge that connects Gelugor on the island of Penang and Seberang Prai on the mainland of Malaysia on the Malay Peninsula. The bridge is also linked to the North-South Expressway in Prai and Jelutong Expressway in Penang. It was officially opened to traffic on September 14, 1985. The total length of the bridge is 13.5 km (8.4 miles), making it among the longest bridges in the world, the longest bridge in the country as well as a national landmark. PLUS Expressway Berhad is the concession holder which manages it.

5. Vasco da Gama Bridge

The Vasco da Gama Bridge (Portuguese: Ponte Vasco da Gama, pron. IPA: [’põt(?) ‘va?ku d? ‘g?m?]) is a cable-stayed bridge flanked by viaducts and roads that spans the Tagus River near Lisbon, capital of Portugal. It is the longest bridge in Europe (including viaducts), with a total length of 17.2 km (10.7 mi), including 0.829 km (0.5 mi) for the main bridge, 11.5 km (7.1 mi) in viaducts, and 4.8 km (3.0 mi) in dedicated access roads. Its purpose is to alleviate the congestion on Lisbon’s other bridge (25 de Abril Bridge), and to join previously unconnected motorways radiating from Lisbon.

4. Chesapeake Bay Bridge

The Chesapeake Bay Bridge (commonly known as the Bay Bridge) is a major dual-span bridge in the U.S. state of Maryland; spanning the Chesapeake Bay, it connects the state’s Eastern and Western Shore regions. At 4.3 miles (7 km) in length, the original span was the world’s longest continuous over-water steel structure when it opened in 1952. The bridge is officially named the William Preston Lane, Jr. Memorial Bridge after William Preston Lane, Jr. who, as governor of Maryland, implemented its construction.

3. King Fahd Causeway

The King Fahd Causeway is multiple dike - bridge combination connecting Khobar, Saudi Arabia, and the island nation of Bahrain.
A construction agreement signed on July 8, 1981 led to construction beginning the next year. The cornerstone was laid on November 11, 1982 by King Fahd of Saudi Arabia and Sheikh Isa bin Salman al-Khalifa of Bahrain; construction continued until 1986, when the combination of several bridges and dams were completed. The causeway officially opened for use on November 25, 1986.

2. Donghai Bridge

Donghai Bridge (literally “East Sea Grand Bridge”) is the longest cross-sea bridge in the world and the longest bridge in Asia. It was completed on December 10, 2005. It has a total length of 32.5 kilometres (20.2 miles) and connects Shanghai and the offshore Yangshan deep-water port in China. Most of the bridge is a low-level viaduct. There are also cable-stayed sections to allow for the passage of large ships, largest with span of 420 m.

1. The Longest Bridge In The World!
Lake Pontchartrain Causeway

The Lake Pontchartrain Causeway, or the Causeway, consists of two parallel bridges that are the longest bridges in the world by total length.[2] These parallel bridges cross Lake Pontchartrain in southern Louisiana. The longer of the two bridges is 23.87 miles (38.42 km) long. The bridges are supported by over 9,000 concrete pilings. The two bridges feature bascule spans over the navigation channel 8 miles (13 km) south of the north shore. The southern terminus of the Causeway is in Metairie, Louisiana, a suburb of New Orleans. The northern terminus is at Mandeville, Louisiana.